Feelings of familiarity often compel us to repeat childhood patterns. The codependent and narcissist relationship is one common pattern that Ross Rosenberg writes about in his book The Human Magnet Syndrome.

This is an unfortunate dance with subconscious magnetic chemistry; “The codependent will do anything to get their partner to love them while the emotional manipulator will do anything to ensure their own safety and needs.”

Both mistake enmeshment for love or happiness, and both feel incomplete and unsatisfied when alone.

A conscious relationship is created purposefully and with intention. However, it requires clarity around your own patterns, how you want to feel in a partnership, and what your boundaries are. This will mean oodles of self-awareness and a willingness to have tough conversations for both parties and a shared commitment to creating the relationship. This is why relationships are so often the driver and catalyst for people to seek therapy.

A conscious relationship values both autonomy and togetherness, which can coexist.

A conscious relationship avoids a slide into identity loss, and it’s a daily commitment, choice, and creation.