Repetitive patterns are sneaky.

We may have a goal or intention but a core belief in our subconscious contradicts that goal and leads us to choices that repeat patterns. These deeply ingrained responses come out of beliefs, memories, past experiences, past learnings, and cultural and societal influences.

The subconscious tries to protect us, but not all patterns and coping mechanisms will continue to serve us or help us move in the directions we’d like to take next.

Patterns can be positive, negative, or neutral. Responding automatically to a street sign because the symbol is embedded in our minds: Great. Getting into relationships with noncommittal partners because we absorbed a belief in childhood: Not so great.

How do we get out of our own way?

Because the unconscious operates below the surface, tricky patterns require deep self-reflection to uncover. External feedback can also be helpful as we have these blind spots.

Clarity is a power and can lead us to the next steps to break unhealthy patterns.

Tips for rewiring:

Affirmations, visualization, mindfulness, therapy
Remove limiting beliefs
Strip away unhelpful identifiers
Journaling
Habit building and practice

And, forgiveness: we don’t know what we don’t know – until we do. Healing is not linear, so have compassion for yourself if you fall back into a pattern.