Wounds from childhood take a lot of unpacking.

We often internalize harmful dynamics and normalize dysfunction. Manipulation or volatility might be behaviors we’re used to, and we may repeat those behaviors or tolerate them from others. Deeply ingrained, it might be much later on that we ask, Is this normal?

Five common wounds from early childhood are fear of abandonment, fear of rejection, fear of betrayal, fear of humiliation, and fear of injustice.

Gabor Mate says, “In the young child’s early life, anxiety is an attachment alarm. What is the child’s biggest need? Attachment with the parent, and connection with the parent. When the parent’s not around the child should feel some fear. That serves a positive purpose. When the child feels fear, he cries. And that brings the parent.”

There are the coping and defense strategies we created to manage our wounds and fears. These coping mechanisms are deserving of our appreciation and thanks, but they don’t usually serve us in the best possible way in adulthood.

Healing childhood trauma can look different for everyone but helpful steps include:

• Accept what occurred
• Acknowledge the impact of the trauma
• Reach out for help
• Learn your trauma triggers
• Practice staying present
• Distance yourself from toxic people
• Self-compassion